why do ppl always use a stupid piece of certificate to gauge your success?

ohh...or maybe i'm the stupid one. ya i'm the stupid one. i can't be compared to my sis, my cousins, my friends.

i'm really not cut out for studying.
but if you ask me to sew, cook, piece jigsaws and play the piano, i can probably do them a bit better than anybody on the streets.

a few questions this morning dampened my spirits for the rest of this day. this last day of 2005.

"how are your results? are you going for one more yr? are you doing honours?"

and i would say "nope i'm not." then ppl will continue to ask, "why not? if you have the chance, why not go for another yr? honours is better..."

of course who wouldn't know that??

i can't make it, ok? happy? do math for 3 yrs and you'll understand. yup let's just say i'm finding excuses for myself? watever that makes you happy.

i just feel very bitter for my dad for watever he has to face when ppl ask him about me. you know, comparisons in the family...

"oh my kid got the blah blah PSLE score..."
"ahh who-who-who got the better O levels results..."
"this ... got how many As for A levels leh!"
then come to uni..."who who study how many yrs leh!!"

they never end. comparisons. i never used to bother about them until today. those questions and how it's so difficult to say those words...i can't do another yr.

i'm so tired of all these.
i feel so sad, i'm crying now.
i'm sorry, daddy.